Tech trade-offs

'It was the best of times; it was the worst of times' - Charles Dickens

I hesitated before writing this. Who am I to generalise, to declare broadly about something as nuanced as technology and its impact on our lives?

Yet, in the last two weeks, I've had five separate, extended conversations with friends—each one centred around the provocative question: “Has technology made our lives better/happier?”

The topic is broad enough to keep us debating forever, but I'm compelled to offer my quick take to provoke reflection. I'd genuinely love to hear your thoughts.

In an increasingly polarised world, finding agreement seems harder than ever. Yet, it feels as though we're approaching consensus on at least one idea: we aren't fully considering the trade-offs technology brings to us.

If we genuinely reflect on what's improving and what's deteriorating, perhaps we can identify which skills and rules we need—not merely to survive, but to thrive—in this profoundly digital age.

But first, let's move beyond the overly simplistic word "happy." "Happy" lacks nuance. Instead, let’s consider:

• Indulgence – Short-term pleasure with potential long-term harm, particularly in excess (think junk food, binge shopping).

• Joy – Deep, energising pleasure, such as spending time with loved ones.

• Satisfaction – Fulfilment from overcoming genuine struggle.

• Peace of mind – Calm contentment, free of pressing desires or anxieties.

These definitions illuminate exactly how modern technologies skew our experiences of positivity.

How technology enriches our lives:

Many everyday miracles we take for granted today would appear as sheer magic to our ancestors:

• Longer lives: We now have unprecedented lifespans, largely free from the fears of war, famine, and rampant disease.

• Medical advances: From painless dentistry to effective surgery, technology drastically improves our quality of life.

• Problem-solving: Platforms like Amazon can deliver millions of products in mere hours, saving invaluable time and resources.

• Global connections: We're more interconnected, informed, and culturally enriched than ever.

• Ease of coordination: Organising social events can happen instantly through messaging platforms, complete with calendar integrations.

But at what cost?

These advances might suggest a utopia, yet reality has not delivered the carefree paradise we imagined. Modern living also brings substantial downsides:

• Disconnection: Real-world human interactions have declined sharply. Even when physically present, screens frequently disrupt connections. We build online tribes around interests, yet often neglect our immediate community. This reduces genuine opportunities for joy.

• Exploitation (“Hacking”): Technology expertly manipulates our ancient instincts—desires for food, belonging, intimacy, and companionship. Algorithms and marketing exploit these cravings, providing momentary indulgence without real fulfilment. The result? Addiction-like loops that displace more meaningful, fulfilling activities.

• Over-convenience: Our obsession with convenience creates an expectation of permanent availability, both personally and professionally. This constant connectivity erodes our ability to detach, reflect, and truly rest. By avoiding effort and risk, we lose opportunities for deep satisfaction derived from struggle and growth.

• Fakeness and drama: Online interactions increasingly bring drama and fakeness to our doorsteps. Performative displays—whether exaggerated love declarations or staged "pranks"—set unrealistic expectations. On the downsides, every single bad thing happening around the world is brought to us. Never has so much bad news been beamed into our heads. Young minds are particularly vulnerable to endless reel of misery and the "bullshit industry," absorbing unrealistic ideals sold by fake experts pushing shallow solutions. This robs us of peace of mind by distorting reality.

Choosing joy, satisfaction, and peace over indulgence

We’re experiencing a form of junk happiness: transient indulgence disguised as comfort or convenience. It quietly but forensically crowds out lasting joy, satisfaction, and peace of mind. When Netflix's competitor is sleep, be sure that your health and wellbeing is not the result, but the price. Resisting social media scrolling, takeaway delivery apps, or compulsive email-checking is often portrayed as a near-saintly feat. I disagree.

We don’t need to abandon technology; we should just make it clear, it's working for us. There are two modes:

• Easy mode: Set clear boundaries, deliberately engage in deeper activities that foster genuine connections, embrace meaningful struggle, and carve out space free from distractions.

  
  

• Hard mode: Hope when you are hungry or bored or lonely that you don't make the wrong choice, but accept over the long-run reduced long-term joy, satisfaction, and peace of mind.

What are the type of habits that help us play on easy mode?

Many feel like over-trodden paths, but we need to spell them out:

1. Have device free time to reflect, think and spend time with loved ones.

2. Get rid of all notifications from social media apps. They are not urgent and there to distract you. Someone will call you if its urgent

3. Understand that news is a sum total of the bad things that are going on. Bad things have always happened, and there is in general nothing you can do to move the dial on many of these things. You can certainly help to get a book club together in your local community, but you cannot change the outcome of every war out there.

4. Meet people more often. See people in real life (IRL is a real acronym to say "In Real Life")

5. Prioritise the use of technology, only to enhance your physical health (e.g. fitness trackers), your relationship help (to arrange meetings), your financial health (to make recurring payments into your savings accounts) and purpose (to help you find direction and connect with those who can inspire you towards YOUR goals). The rest is distraction.

Next week I will be discussing "The danger of assumptions". Until then, please sign up to receive the blog directly to your email at Blog | Deciders.